Remembering The Important

My dad is one of the most amazing people that I have had the honor of knowing on this earth. He was raised a farmer. He joined the military and served this country as a Marine. He then became a pastor. He has taught me many things during my lifetime. The most important thing he has taught me is to love the Lord, Jesus Christ with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I remember many nights when we would watch boxing on television and then talk about theology afterwards. He exemplifies what it means to me to be a pastor. He has very big shoes to fill for being not that big of a guy. He is the example in this world that I look to when I think about training to go into ministry. 

Before my wife and I were married, almost seven years ago, my dad came down with frontal temporal dementia. This affects his short term memory. He is not supposed to even remember my name now but he is doing well. He remembers not only my name but he jokes around with me, we talk about baseball, and most often theology. It is interesting to me that my wife has never known my dad without him having dementia. This all struck home the other day when I wanted to do some fun reading so I picked up a random John Piper book that my dad had given me awhile ago. I opened it and started flipping through it. I am used to opening books that my dad has given me and seeing a couple of underlined parts and a few notes. This book, however, is torn up. It looks as if a tornado got hold of a pencil and scribbled over the entire thing. There is so much underlining and a huge amount of notes. I almost have to sit and decipher his words from Piper’s. My dad wrote down his own personal reflections, prayers, and thoughts about God.

I thought all of this was very interesting. Why was this book so much more marked up than any other book I remember him giving me? And he has given me a lot of books. He used to be an independent used book seller too. Then I opened the book to the front cover. There I found, drawn in pencil, a heart. Inside the heart it said, “Scott & Lindzy.” My mind was pretty much blown. The conclusion I had was this: Even though my dad has dementia, which is slowly deteriorating his mind, he is still trying to teach me. He has taken it upon himself to speak to me through his own words and through the words of others. I think he knows that I still need training and guidance. He has given me a great gift. I can see his words next to the words of another great man of faith and almost hear him say, “Scott, you really need to pay attention to this part. Have you taken this into consideration? Isn’t God great? I love you.”

As I sit here, in the little cafe that I frequent, writing this I cannot help but think of the Old Testament authors. They tell about how the people of Israel would set up monuments made out of stones. This was to remind them of what God did for them. When their kids asked what that big stack of rocks was for they would explain the story of how God providing for their people (Joshua 4:9, 1 Samuel 7:12). True, what I am talking about is not really the same thing at all. However, when I see all of these notes my dad made in this book, and I look at the inscription with my wife and I’s names on the cover, I can’t help but think that he made all of these notes to specifically give my wife and I instruction and counsel where in a couple of years he may not physically be able to do it any more. It feels like he is giving me my own personal monument. It’s as if he is saying, “Remember what the Lord has done for you. I’ve done my best to teach you. Don’t forget.” This experience has made me remember how much my dad, not only loves me but, wants to continue to give me spiritual truth. He wants me to remember the Lord’s love for me. Remember. 

Trials and Tribulations

Many of my friends are going through their share of junk in life right now. It is always hard to make people feel better and secure when nothing seems to be going right in life. However, there is something to be said about hindsight. My wife and I have had our fair share of rough times in life; especially since we have moved to Chicago. When I hear people talking about trials in life, my knee jerk reaction is to jump to the story of Job. If you are unfamiliar with the story, it is about a devout man of God who was given over, with God’s permission, to be persecuted by the devil. It is a powerful story of the sovereignty of God and his faithfulness. 

However, I constantly think about how the sufferings of this world seem to be so far removed from God. He’s up there. We’re down here. How can he possibly understand what I am going through? Then I start to think about the ministry of Jesus Christ. A lot of the time we think of Jesus as a man who glows and floats instead of walks. He is always having picnics and laughing with his disciples. When he is not doing that then he is healing people and praying. That is a nice life. Yeah, of course there is that whole crucifixion thing. But that does not happen until late in his life and it only lasted a couple of hours anyway. Besides, he rose from the dead and is sitting at the right hand of the Father anyways. Jesus had it pretty good right?

As a matter of fact he didn’t. He was constantly being badgered by the religious leaders of the day and under constant threat of murder. In Isaiah 53:3 it says, “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not” (ESV). This comes from a prophecy about Christ. According to this he did not have that great of life. That is a pretty powerful statement: a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. I don’t think I would say that to describe my life even at the worst of times.

Then right before Christ was going to enter his earthly ministry something very important happened. “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil” (Matt. 4:1 ESV). Before all of the sorrow and grief occured, Christ was led by the Spirit to be tempted by Satan. That is pretty hard core. Can you imagine being face to face with Satan in the middle of the desert and for forty days all Satan in trying to do is to make you fall? That would be the scariest situation imaginable. I am not too proud to say I would probably fail unless God himself intervened. Christ entered into his ministry with this battle. However, it was all according to plan.

Remember what I said about hindsight? Remember what I said about having a very rough time in Chicago? I will give you an example. My wife and I started out in Lincoln Park, Chicago. It was the only place that we could have our dog that was reasonably priced. And reasonable is a very flexible word. We did not think that we could move somewhere more affordable because our dog. Then one fateful summer we were infested with bed bugs. It was awful. The land lord was dragging his feet about getting it fixed. We started to think we were dirty people; even though that has nothing to do with it. We couldn’t have anyone over. This was terrible because my wife’s gifting is in hospitality which she couldn’t use because of what we call The Plague.

We decided to make a decision to move. We were nervous and scared about putting that big of a decision in the hands of the Lord but we did it anyway. There were so many variables: the dog, transportation to work, being able to get to work, living in another place that was awful, moving only to find that that didn’t get rid of the problem. Our friends found an ad for an apartment. We checked it out and moved. It was more than we thought we could afford. We trusted God would take care of it. We made a friend on our new block because she wanted to pet our dog. She then took us with her to hand our sack lunches to homeless people. Because of that we saw a church and checked it out. They needed a worship leader. I can play guitar. We told them about our living situation and they found us the best living situation we have had. I did my internship with them for school. I am getting pastoral training and we have a great faith community. All of this because of God…and bed bugs.

All of this to say, God knows what he is doing. He knows what is best for us. He does what he does for a reason. This includes the bad stuff. In Romans 8:28, Paul says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (ESV). This is our great hope. We can have faith that God puts great thought into what he puts us through. We also know that God can, in fact, empathize with what we are going through. We complain about what we are going through; about our trials, tribulations, crap, etc. What we need to think about is can we empathize with him? 

God knows better than anyone what sorrow, grief, and hardships look like. If you believe what I do, that Christ is God, then the empathy of God for us is true. I wonder how hard Christ’s life actually was. He started his ministry by being tempted by Satan for forty days. This is not to make you feel bad. It’s the exact opposite. Be thankful that we have a savior who knows what we are going through and that we can cry out to him with our sad voices and he will not say, “Oh you think you have it rough? Let me tell you about this one time in the desert.”   

 

Seeking Wisdom

It is interesting to read Proverbs and see the importance that God puts on wisdom. Yes, it is, in fact, wisdom literature. However, wisdom literature could be any number of things. It could be a note from your mom telling you to look both ways when crossing the street. God puts a huge emphasis, at least early on, in the value of seeking and following after wisdom.

In chapters 8-9 God actually personifies wisdom as a woman. I think this is a strategic move but also a practical one. I believe God makes wisdom speak as a woman because it will make us remember more clearly. When God personifies wisdom as a person the importance of seeking wisdom sticks with us because it is spoken to us rather than in just another list. Also, I think that she is a woman to impress upon the men of the culture the importance and value women should have in their culture. I wonder if the wisdom that God speaks about in Proverbs is wisdom in the conventional sense or would it also be referring to seeking out knowledge as well. If that is the case then we would, in fact, be wise to be life long learners.

Proverbs 8:34-35 says, “Blessed is the one who listens to me [Wisdom], watching daily at the gates, waiting beside my doors. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death” (ESV). That is strong language when speaking about wisdom. Those who hate wisdom hates death? That is pretty crazy. I love how God is saying the ones who seek after wisdom will find life. If you take this into a redemption  context then you will realize the legitimacy of it.

If a person takes all of their presuppositions and world view and throws them out the window and they just strive for wisdom then I believe they will eventually find God through that search. They will find Christ and through him they will find life.

That One Moment

Don’t lie. We’ve all been there before. In fact, you have probably been there numerous times. Many times it is in front of a mirror. Maybe it happened when you were walking down the street watching snowflakes fall from the sky. It could have been at the end of a loved one’s life. The moment happens and then we move on. We feel awful that we had this thought but we had it nonetheless. It makes us feel empty inside. The moment could have been fleeting, which i find is the case most of the time. Or it could last years. The moment comes and it is scary: what if everything I believe in is totally untrue? 

This is the moment we all have had. I am speaking with very big statements here because I find it hard to believe that anyone who is in the faith of Christianity has not questioned it at one time or another. For some of us it was just another ordinary day. We stopped what we were doing and had the moment. Some of us even have the moment when we are worshiping in church, praying, or reading our Bibles. This is not surprising. It is hard to keep up a seemingly one sided conversation for any extended period of time before you start to wonder whether the other person has checked out or is even real to begin with. The moment usually comes for me when I see one of my favorite theologians or scholars get owned in a debate.

So, what does that mean? 

It means that you are a human being. You are a person who is like everyone else. You are a person who may doubt from time to time. This does not mean that you have a weak faith. This means you are human. Take Thomas for example. Thomas is commonly referred to as the doubter. After Christ’s resurrection he appeared to his disciples. Thomas was not there for this. The disciples tried to assure Thomas that this event really did happen. This is what Thomas had to say about it. He said, “‘Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe'” (John 20:25b ESV). And because of this he is known as Doubting Thomas. This one moment defined who Thomas was. Let’s look at another situation involving Thomas but at the exact other side of the spectrum. Jesus’ friend Lazarus was very sick and was going to die. Jesus was asked to come visit him and heal him. Jesus waited a couple of days and then said he would go. The disciples were worried by this because the Jews in the land where Lazarus was already wanted to kill Jesus. By this time Lazarus had died. Thomas after hearing this told the other disciples, “‘Let us also go, that we may die with him'” (John 11:16).

Thomas, the Doubter, was the one disciple who was ready to risk his life for Christ’s ministry in that situation. I am glad that Thomas did not dwell on his one moment of weakness in his faith. He got up, dusted himself off, and carried out the work that the Lord had given him to do. Thomas is the disciple who is traditionally attributed to having first spread the gospel to India. He did not succumb to his one moment.

I believe that these moments happen to people a lot of the time. This does not mean that you are loved any less by God. This does mean that you are a fallen creation who has been separated from the one who first loved you by sin. We need to spend this life trying to get back into right relationship with our heavenly father. We can do this by pushing through these times of doubt. When we think that God is not listening, this is when we need to talk to him even more. When we feel like he is not watching, this is when we need to serve him even more. When we feel he has rejected us because of the situations in our lives that cause us to fall to the ground weeping, this is when we need to worship him even more. 

We serve a mighty God. He can get us through the times when we even doubt the hand he is offering us to help us back on our feet.